Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Resolve, Resolutely.

I resolve every year, and this year is no different. Except for one thing. I resolve simply to be kinder to myself. So what if I spend a few extra minutes doing something for myself rather than my heretofore three criticals: 1. Keeping an empty sink. 2. Keeping a made bed. 3. Keeping a vacuumed living room floor. I usually can't think straight unless those three things are accomplished. How many thoughts, ideas, stories have I given away to the ether because those three things weren't done? An entire lifetime full. And when I finally did get them done, the ideas had flown at the expense of hospital corners and a filled dishwasher. Eternal Maternal Question: Why does doing something for ourselves often feel so selfish? I have to be done with that line of thought.

I loved my mother desperately, but she martyred herself perpetually at the Altar-of- Making-Everyone-Happy. She neglected herself, and it often made her miserable. And I have to be true to her memory by showing that I learned something from her life. In this case, the worst thing I can do to preserve her is to repeat her.

0 Things not left unsaid: